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WHAT NOT TO NAME YOUR DOG

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy."  I call mine
Sex.

Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me.  When I went to City Hall
to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a
license for Sex.  He said, "I'd like to have one, too."  Then I said,
"But this is a dog!"  He said  he didn't care what she looked like. 
Then I said, "But you don't understand.  I've had Sex since I was nine
years old."  He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a
special room for Sex.  He said every room in the place was for sex.  I
said, "You don't understand.  Sex keeps me awake at night!"  The clerk
said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition
began, the dog ran away.  Another contestant asked me why I was just
stading there looking around.  I told him I had planned to have Sex in
the contest.  He told me I should have sold my own tickets.  "But you
don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV."  He called
me a show-off.

When my wife and I seaparted, we went to court to fight custody of
the dog.  I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married."  The
judge said, "Me too."  Then I told him that after I was married, Sex
left me.  He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again.  I spent hours looking around town for
him.  A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley
at 4:00 in the morning?"  I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.
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There's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first
for seven hours, they always come out tender.  -- W.C. FIELDS
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"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotamy" 
-- R.R.W.