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February 15, 1995


Wet Blankets Through History
 
To help develop an open-minded and defiant attitude to others' rejection
of your ideas, remember that many creative contributions are initially met
with skepticism, if not outright hostility.  Keep this list of creative
contributions that we now know to be significant but that were once thought
to be crazy, stupid, useless, offensive and doomed to failure.  The next
time you or someone you know has a new idea, creation or innovation, 
remember this list.  Remind yourself that it is far better to give an idea a 
chance -
or at least to not immediately shoot it down - than to be one of those who
always say "Won't work" or "Bad idea" or "Too risky" and, hence, never do
anything great.

Here are some examples:
 
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as
a means of communication.  The device is inherently of no value to us."
Western Union internal memo, 1876.
 
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value.  Who would
payfor a message sent to nobody in particular?"  David Sarnoff's
associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the
1920s.
 
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better
than a "C," the idea must be feasible."  A Yale University management
professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight
delivery service.  Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.
 
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"  H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers,
1927.
 
"Im just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary
Cooper."  Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in
"Gone With The Wind."
 
"A cookie store is a bad idea.  Besides, the market research reports say
America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."
Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
 
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."  Decca
Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
 
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."  Lord Kelvin, president,
Royal Society, 1895.
 
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment.  The
literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."  Spencer
Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It"
Notepads.
 
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even
built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us?  Or
we'll give it to you.  We just want to do it.  Pay our salary, we'll come
work for you.'  And they said, 'No.'  So then we went to Hewlett-Packard,
and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you.  You haven't got through college
yet.'"  Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari
andH-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
 
"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction
and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to
react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high
schools." 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's
revolutionary rocket work.
 
"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of
your muscles?  It can't be done.  It's just a fact of life.  You just have
to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of
weight training."  Response to Arthur Jones, wo solved the "unsolvable"
problem by inventing Nautilus.
 
"Drill for oil?  You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?
You're crazy."  Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project
to drill for oil in 1859.
 
"I think there's a world market for about five computers."  Thomas J Watson,
Chairman of the Board, IBM.
 
"The bomb will never go off.  I speak as an expert in explosives."  Admiral
William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project.
 
"This fellow Charles Lindbergh will never make it.  He's doomed."  Harry
Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast.
 
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."  Irving
Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
 
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."  Marechal
Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
 
"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
advances."  Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of
television.
 
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."  Charles H. Duell,
Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  The circus is in town and the posters advertising it are promising an act
never seen before in the UK.
  On the opening night they have a full house and all the traditional acts
go down well. Then the final unique act, Dominic and his performing
alligator.
  Yes Dominic brings on his trained alligator and puts him through his
paces, roller skates, riding a bike, balancing on the high wire etc. Then
for the grand finale, Dominic announces to the crowd that he will prove
just how well trained his alligator is.
  Dominic says to the alligator "open your mouth wide and do not move under
any circumstances". He then puts his hand in the alligators mouth and it
does not move. He puts his whole arm in the alligators mouth, again it
does not move. He puts his head in the alligators mouth, it doesn't even
blink. Then in the ultimate show of confidence he drops his trousers and
puts his dick in the alligators mouth, picks up a baseball bat and
clobbers the alligator over the head. The alligator doesn't flinch.
  Dominic says to the crowd "I hope you have seen just how well trained my
alligator is. Would anyone from the audience like to give it a try". Not
surprisingly there is little response. But suddenly from the back a
little old lady plucks up courage and says:
  "I'll give it a go sonny, but you've got to promise not to hit me too
hard with that baseball bat".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  There was an elephant escape from a circus once, and no one had ANY idea 
where it was until some older woman who'd never seen an elephant before
called the emergency services saying...
  "Help me, there's a huge grey monster in my backyard, and it's digging
up the cabbages with it's tail, but even worse than that, I can't begin to
describe what it's doing to them!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  A guys into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a dumb jock joke.
  The bartender says, "The guy in the corner is a profession wrestler.  The
guy in the other corner is a prize fighter.  This guy next to you is a 
professional hockey play.  I played football for 5 years.  Now, do you STILL 
want to tell your dumb jock joke?"
  The guy says, "No.  I don't want to have to explain it 4 times."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one---but it takes the entire emergency-room staff to get it back
   out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is Wednesday called "hump day" when most people don't get laid until
the weekend?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sign over a Polish urinal: "Please don't eat the big white mints"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Giraffe walks into a bar and says, "The hiballs are on me!..."
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