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  One night in a sleepy town the chemical plant explodes into flames.  The 
alarm goes out and departments from miles around race to the scene.  
After fighting the fire for over an hour the chemical company president 
approaches the fire chief, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault 
in the center of the plant.  They must be saved!  I will give $50,000 to 
the engine company that brings them out safely!"
  With this the firemen attack with a renewed gusto.  Two hours later they 
still have not gained any ground.  With this the company president offers 
$100,000 to the engine company that brings out the company's secret 
files.  In the distance a lone siren is heard and soon another fire truck 
comes into sight.  The fire chief realizes that is that little rinky-dink 
volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65.  Much to his 
amazement the fire engine races through the chemical plant gates and drives 
right into the middle of the inferno.  He can see these old timers hopping 
off their rig and fighting the fire with an effort that he has never seen 
before.
  Less than an hour later the fire is out and the secret formulas have been
saved by this group of volunteers!  The chemical company president is so
estatic he doubles the reward to $200,000!  After thanking the volunteers
the chemical company president can't help but ask what they will do with
the reward money.  The engineer (driver) looks him right in the eye...
"First thing we do is fix the fucking brakes on that truck!"
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  [ Here is the English translation to the Dutch joke that was in the ]
  [ last Funny Bone. Thanks Mark (of Amsterdam) for sending it to me! ]

Two homo's are strolling along the Red Light District in Amsterdam. Suddenly
one of them gets the urge and says to his friend:" Well, I don't care , I'm  
horny, so I'm going  to try it with one of these girls." Eugene, his friend, 
is somewhat taken aback by this, but says OK. After a while he sees a whore 
that looks allright to him and he goes inside with her while Eugene waits 
outside.... 20 minutes later he comes out and says:" Well, it's not the same 
of course, but not alltogheter unpleasant, why don't you try it as well 
Eugene?" Hesitantly Eugene agrees to go inside as well...
Half an hour later, he's still inside.Another half  hour goes by and then 
another. Eugene's friend, waiting outside all this time is getting pissed 
off. Finally, totally exhausted, Eugene comes out saying:"Listen man, I 
don't know how you do it, I've tried everything, but I can't get that pussy 
in my ass."
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  A salesman was at one of those sex aids parties, and opened his case
to show the ladies all his wares...
  "Oooh! Can I have one of those bendy things?" said one lady.
  "Certainly, thats 9 pounds for a flexible vibro" said the salesman.
  "I'll have one of those black ones with all the knobbley bits" said
another lady.
  "Certainly, thats 12 pounds for a tickler vibro" said the salesman.
  "Can I have that large red one with the white top?" said a third
lady.
  "Sorry madame - thats not for sale - its my thermos of coffee!"
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Q: How come Iraq never holds Driver's Ed & Sex Education on the same
   afternoon?
A: The camel has to rest sometime.
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The police are looking for a phsycic midget that has just commited a crime!
They have an APB out for a small medium at large.....
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I wash everything on the gentle cycle.  It's much more humane. 
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A frustrated mime at Echo Canyon gave me the finger, twice.
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Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?