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  The old nurse says to the young nurse:  "When I gave Mr. Smith his bath, I
noticed something very strange.  He has the word "SWAN" tatooed on his
penis. 
  The young nurse said, "That's odd, when I gave him his bath, it said
"SASKATCHEWAN". 
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  A bear having a shit in the woods sees a rabbit. He says to the rabbit
"Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
  "No" says the rabbit.
  So the bear cleans his but with the rabbit.
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A ten-year-old girl walks into the pharmacy and asks the chemist, "Do you
fit diaphragms?"  Shocked, he replies, "Why, yes, but..." 
She says, "Then go wash your hands and get me a dollar's worth of jelly
beans!"
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Go over to a flat chested girl and say to her "Would you wear gloves if 
you had no hands??"  She then will say "no". So you say "So why do you wear
a bra then??"  At this point it's advisable to run away. 
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When my brother in law (a lefty) built his garage he had to buy twice
as many nails as expected, about half of them had the heads on the
wrong ends.
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Cow1:  Ha! I'm never going to get mad cows disease!
Cow2:  Why not?
Cow1:  Cos I'm a penguin!
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Q: What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof of his house?
A: "GET OFF THE ROOF YOU STUPID COW"
Q: What did the cow say back?
A: "MMMMOOOOO" 
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Q: Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey the most toxic
   waste dumps?
A: New Jersey had first pick.
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: He saw his mother-in-law emerging from the gym with a scowl on her face.
   She's been in a fowl mood ever since she lost that boxing match.
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Q: Why are cowboy hats pushed up at the sides?
A: So three cowboys can sit in the front seat of a pickup.
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Q: What says "pieces of 7, pieces of 7"?                         
A: A parrot in error.  
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Q: Why did the Siamese twins move to England?
A: So the other one could drive.
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Q: How do serious burns victims pick their noses?
A: From a catalogue.
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the same side.
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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fish.
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Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A bulldoser.
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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality and bondage, but I realised I
was flogging a dead horse.
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Women are not perfect. The recreation facility is to close to the disposal 
unit. 
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10  Ponder about recursion 
20  Go to 10