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From a Guide to Mormon Youth...

          "Guide to Self-Control:  Overcoming Masturbation."

:: ENLIST THE POWER OF PRAYER!

Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen
you against temptation.

Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "Stop!" to those
thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then recite a portion of the
Bible or sing a hymn.

:: EXERCISE VIGOROUSLY!

Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise, which reduce emotional
tension and depression.

Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

:: SET GOALS!

Set a goal of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, month, year.
Finally, commit yourself to never doing it again.

Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card.  Carry it with you
but show it to no one.

If you masturbate, color that day black.  Your goal will be to have no
black days.

The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder, and should be looked at
when you are tempted to add another black day.

Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

Set up a reward system.  Each time you reach a goal, award yourself a
quarter. Spend it on something that delights you.

:: WORK ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT!

Work daily on a self-improvement program. Improve your relationships with
your family. Increase your service to your church.

Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to
enjoy working and talking with them.

Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed
self-image.

Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily
overcoming tempting situations.

:: AVOID TEMPTATION!

When on the toilet or showering, leave the door partly open.

Arise immediately in the mornings.  Don't lie awake in bed -- start each
day with enthusiastic activity.

Avoid people, situations, pictures and reading material that might create
sexual excitement.

:: USE PHYSICAL RESTRAINTS!
Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

Put on several layers of clothing that would be difficult to remove while
half asleep.

Hold an object -- for example, a Bible -- even in bed at night.

In severe cases, tie a hand to the bed frame.

:: BE ALERT TO EMOTIONS!

Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely,
bored, frustrated or discouraged.  These emotional states can trigger the
desire to masturbate as a way of escape.

Plan to counter these low periods through reading a book, visiting a
friend, doing something athletic, etc.

Employ aversion therapy.  To cancel out the pleasurableness of
masturbating , associate something very distasteful with the act.  For
example, imagine bathing in a tub of worms and eating some of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Er, lesse now, a joke.....

Oh, I got one....

Damn, forgotten it......
        
Hey, heres another.....

Note: Wanker = person who Masturbates }:>

Frank is sitting in his local bar and his friend,
Bob, walks in.  He sees him and calls him over.

Frank says to him:
F> Bob, what you been doing?
B> I've just got my Degree.
F> Impossible, you're as thick as shit.  What is 
   the degree in?
B> Logic!
F> You can't get a degree in logic!!!
B> You can, and I'll prove it.

B> You got a goldfish?
F> Yes
B> Then you have a tank or a pond.
F> A pond.
B> You got a pond, you have a house.
F> Uh huh
B> You got a house, chances are you got a Wife.
F> Yes I am married.
B> Well, if you got a wife, you're not a wanker.
F> I guess so.
B> Well, that logic for you.

Frank is compoletely amazed by this and leaves to       
find his friend to inform him of Bob's degree.

He finds his friend, Dave in another bar, goes 
over to him and says:
        
F> You'll never guess who I just saw.
D> Who?
F> Bob.
D> What thick as shit Bob?
F And he's just got his degree!!!
D> No way, what in?
F> Logic.
D> You can't get a degree in logic
F> You can and I'll prove it.
        
F> You got a goldfish?
D> No,

F> Then you're a wanker!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Irishman walks into a bar with a huge pile of horse-shit in his hands.
"Hey, guys! Look what I almost stepped in!"