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This cowboy was riding his horse out in the middle of nowhere and 
his horse trips over something. The man gets off his horse checks to see 
what it was.  He notices it's a lamp.  He rubs the lamp and a genie pops 
out of the lamp.  The cowboy pulls out his guns and says to the genie "If 
you don't give me three wishes I'm going to kill you right here!"  The 
genie says "O.K. I'm not a violent man so I'll grant you your wishes."  
The cowboy says "O.K. for my first wish I want a bottle of the best 
liqour."  The genie snaps his fingers and POOF a bottle of Jack Daniels 
appears in his saddle bag.  The cowboy says "O.K. for my second wish I 
want $1 million."  The genie snaps his fingers again and suddenly $1 
million appears  in his sadle bag.  The cowboy says "Well I've never been 
good with the ladies so for my second wish I want a dick the size of my 
horse's"  The genie snaps his fingers and suddenly the crotch of his 
pants swell.  The cowboy rides off into town and goes to the local 
sallon.  He gets drunk and starts telling everybody the story and 
naturally nobody belives him.  The cowboy says "But I got this bottle of 
liqour right here"  And the bartender says "Yeah but you could have got 
that anywhere!"  So the cowboy says "But I've got $1 million right 
here!"  So another cowboy says "Yeah you could have robbed a bank 
somewhere and got that!"  So the cowboy says "Oh yeah! Then where did I 
get this!" and he unzips his pants and flops his huge dick on the 
counter.  So another cowboy gets all excited about it and jumps on his 
horse and rides out to find the lamp.  When he finds it he rubs the lamp 
and says to the genie "If you don't grant my three wishes I'll kill 
you!"  The genie says "O.K. go ahead and tell me your wishes."  The 
second cowboy says "O.K. for my wishes I want twice as much as the first 
guy had!  I want two bottles of liquor, $2 million, and I want to have a 
dick as big as my horse's"  The genie snaps his fingers and his wishes 
come true.  The second cowboy rides back to town to tell everybody in the 
sallon about his story.  He gets the same kind of harrasment as the first 
cowboy so he says " Oh yeah! Well how did I get this!" he unzips his 
pants and everybody in the bar starts to laugh.  Just then the second 
cowboy thought "OH SHIT! I rode my horse Becky out there!"
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A man is doing research on insane asylums.  He walks into sunnybrook and 
sees this pretty, young women painting a picture.  The only problem is 
that there are no paints, no brushes, no canvas or easel.. but she is 
having a grand old time painting, nonetheless.  The reporter askes her 
what she's doing.  "I'm painting this beautiful landscape, and when I am 
done, I get to go home"  The man quickly walks on until he sees another 
women and it looks like she's knitting something, but again, there are no 
needles, no yarns, no basket.  "what is it you're doing, maam" he asks.  
"Oh, I'm knitting this afgan, and when I am done, they will let me 
leave".  He gives her a wide berth as he walks into the next room.  Here 
he sees a naked man and he is masterbating into a bowl of peanuts.  "my 
goodness, what is it you're doing" he exclaims. "I'm Fucking Nuts, and 
they'll never let me outta here!!!!"
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I've never liked clowns.  Everybody else seems to like clowns.  They
all laugh at clowns but I can only cry.  I don't know what it is but
they always make me unhappy.  Maybe it has to do with the fact a clown
killed my parents.
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The Welsh have started wearing kilts again, alledgedly because of some
celtic tradition. But we all know that it is because the sheep have
got used to the sound of the zip.
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Q: How many country-western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to change the bulb and another to sing about how much he misses the
   old bulb.
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Q: What's the difference between (most) American Beers and a dead frog?
A: A dead frog has more hops.
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Q: Why do elephants have four feet?
A: Because they'd look pathetic with 6 inches.
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Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have machines that do that now.
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The dictionary definition...
  RECURSION: See "recursion".