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License City...

Scene:  A woman at a gas station, cleaning her windshield.
A man walks up.
 
Man:  Excuse me ma'am, but do you have a license for that squeegee?
 
Woman:  A what?
 
Man:  Do you have a valid squeegee license?
 
Woman:  What is that?
 
Man:  I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm going to have to write you up if you don't
have a valid squeegee license.  The law in this city is that you must have
a license in order to use a squeegee.
 
Woman:  Does it matter if I'm not from here?
 
Man:  (writing citation)  Oh no, not at all.
 
A man with a moustache joins the man and woman.
 
Man with moustache:  Excuse me, sir, but do you have a license to be
citing someone else?
 
Man:  I don't need a license to do that.  I'm a squeegee policeman.
 
Man with moustache:  Well, I'm a citation policeman, and if you don't
have a valid license to be giving out citations, then I'm going to have to
cite you!  (pulls out citation book)  What's your name?
 
A woman riding a bicycle joins the group.
 
Bicycle woman:  Mister, I hope you have a license for that moustache.
 
Man with moustache:  (pulling out wallet)  Yes I do...(hands over card)
there it is.
 
Bicycle woman:  (inspecting card)  Hmmm...did you know that your
moustache license has expired?
 
Man with moustache:  It has?
 
Bicycle woman:  Yes, on February 6th.  There is a $100 fine in this town
for walking around with a moustache without a license.
 
Man with moustache:  There must be some kind of mistake.  (Looking in
wallet)
 
A tiny man dressed up as a fig newton joins the group.
 
Fig newton man:  (pointing at woman)  I hope you have a current
bicycling in gas station stamp on your cycling license.
 
Bicycle woman:  No, but I'm not bicycling.
 
Fig newton man:  Standing with a bicycle on the premises of a gas station
constitutes bicycling.  I hate to do this (pulling out citation book) but I'm
going to have to give you a ticket.
 
Bicycle woman:  That's ridiculous...I wasn't bicycling.
 
Man with moustache:  Oh yes she was...she was riding around and
around and around...with no hands!  Throw the book at her!
 
Fig newton man:  Riding with no hands is a Class II misdemeanor in this
town, missy!
 
A man pushing a cannon passes the group.
 
Man with cannon:  Which way to the artillery range?
 
Fig newton man:  Just down the street, behind the library.
 
Man with cannon:  Thanks.  (He leaves)
 
Woman with squeegee:  Don't you need a cannon license in this town?
 
Bicycle woman:  Yes, but that's a matter for the cannon police, and who
knows where he is right now.
 
Fig newton man:  I think he's down at the bowling alley, talking with the
bowling shirt inspector.
 
Man with moustache:  No, because I am the bowling shirt inspector.  Do
you have a license to guess where I am?
 
Fig newton man:  It's in my jacket at home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy was fucking this hooker. The hooker claimed that she could'nt feel
his dick at all. A little annoyed at her insult to the size of his dick, he
decided to take it out and instead start screwing with his whole hand. She 
still insisted that she could'nt feel a darn thing. This really upset him
so he decided to start screwing her with his whole foot (in and out motion). 
While doing this, his boot got stuck inside of her.  So he decided to put
his hand inside to try and remove it... he just could'nt find it!  So
realising that it was a reasonably large hole, he thought "I'll just dive
right in and look for it myself."  While in her pussy (it was big and dark, 
like the black hole) and to his big surprise he met another guy in there! 
"What the fuck going on here?" Well the guy told him that  he was looking
for his boot that apparently got lost here. The other guy said to him "good
luck I've been here three days looking for my tractor and i still can't
find it."