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                    THE  OFFICIAL  HILL/THOMAS
                  SEXUAL  HARASSMENT  CONSENT FORM


NAME ________________________________________________ SSN_________________

ADDRESS ____________________________________  CITY _______________________

ST. ________________________   ZIP _______________


WORK PHONE ________________________  HOME PHONE________________________

Male    Female         Other_______________
               
SEXUAL PREFERENCE:

 Male / Female ______  Male / Male ______  Female / Female ______

 All the above ______  None of the above ______  Other __________


I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT:

SALUTATORY GREETINGS:

Eye to eye contact ____   Fellies ____   Eye to bust contact ____

Groupies ____    Eye to below the waist contact______

Penetration however slight ______ All the above ____    Other _________

HEAVY BREATHING ON OR NEAR:

        Neck ____  Cleavage _____ Ear _____ Arm pit _____ Navel _____

        All of them ____ Other _________

HAND TO BODY PARTS:

        Shoulder ____ Gluteus Maximus _____ Waist _____ Bust _____

        All of them ____ Other _________


MISCELLANEOUS

        I will ____ I will not _____

1.   Assist in the procurement of various potions, lotions, products,
      etc., to be used during sexual harassment.
2.   Procurement and maintenance of various types of sustaining
      apparatus.
3.   Clean up.

I CERTIFY THAT I WILL ACCEPT SEXUAL HARASSMENT FROM:

 Anyone ____ Anyone but:_____________________  Only _______________________


SIGNED _____________________________________   DATE _______________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Lone Ranger and his trusty sidekick were riding through a small town,
and decided to stop in the local saloon for a drink.  The Lone Ranger
noticed that his horse was a bit overheated, so he asked his trusty
sidekick a favor.
  "Tonto.  I'm afraid Silver is a bit hot, might you cool him for me?"
  Tonto says "Of course, Kemosabe, but how?"
  "Just run around him in circles to fan him off."
  So the 'Ranger leaves his trusty sidekick and goes in for a drink.
  A few minutes later, a cowboy approaches him and asks "Excuse me, sir, but
do you know who owns that beautiful silver horse out front?
  "I do." replies the 'Ranger.
  "Well, sir, you've left your injun running."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  Sue and Sally meet at their 20th class reunion and they haven't seen each
other since graduation.
  They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers
their husbands, their children, homes, etc and finally gets around to their
sex lives.
  Sue says "It's OK, we get it on every week or so but it's no big 
adventure, how's yours?"
  Sally replies "It's just GREAT - ever since we got into S&M".
  Sue is aghast - "Really Sally - I never would have quessed that you would
go for that".
  "Sure, says Sally, he snores while I masturbate".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a *bunch* of owls?

Althought I don't give a hoot about owls I did hear a story relating to
this question...

A very well endowed young woman was attacked by several bunches of owls one
day, tearing at her clothes.  During the fray one of the elders in our tiny
village exclaimed, "Look at the hooters on that gal!" So I guess a bunch of
owls is called a hooter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get on a crowded elevator on a reasonably high floor.  Without
saying a word, press every button, turn to the other passengers,
and grin maniacally.  Get off *one* floor below the the one you
got on, then hurry and take the stairs down so you can meet the
elevator on the next floor.  When the door opens, flash the same
grin and say, "You were talking about me...weren't you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween
because OCT 31 == DEC 25 !