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The Official Polish Sex Quiz

Study each question carefully.  Then, choose the 
answer that seems most correct
("T" for True or "F" for False) and mark an "X" 
under the appropriate heading on the right side.
                                                                T  F
1.  A clitoris is a type of flower.                             _  _
2.  Pubic hair is a wild rabbit.                                _  _
3.  "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird.                          _  _
4.  Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble.    _  _
5.  Menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels.                       _  _
6.  A G-string is part of a violin.                             _  _
7.  Semen is another word for "sailor".                         _  _
8.  Anus is the Latin word for "yearly".                        _  _
9.  Testicles are found on an octopus.                          _  _
10. Asphalt dexcribes rectal troubles.                          _  _
11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.                     _  _
12. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas.                   _  _
13. Coitus is a musical instrument.                             _  _
14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke".                         _  _
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.                   _  _
16. A condom is an apartment complex.                           _  _
17. An organism is the person who accompanies the church choir. _  _
18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.                       _  _
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.                       _  _
20. An erection is when the Japanese go to the voting booths.   _  _
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.                 _  _
22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass.             _  _
23. Pornography is the business of making record albums.        _  _
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins.                  _  _
25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve".                    _  _
26. An enema is someone who is not your friend.                 _  _
27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese.             _  _
28. Scrotum is a small planet near Uranus.                      _  _
29. A vulva is an automobile from Sweden.                       _  _
30. A Fallopian Tube is a part of a television set.             _  _
31. Fellatio refers to an Italian dagger.                       _  _
32. Cunnilingus refers to someone who speaks foreign languages. _  _
33. Phallus was a city on the Nile.                             _  _
34. V.D. is an American holiday celebrated on November 11.      _  _
35. Herpes was a Greek god.                                     _  _
36. A homosexual is a technician who purifies milk.             _  _
37. The ben-wa ball is held every year in Tokyo on June 1.      _  _
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, he
was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page
and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which
the female achieves orgasm?"
   She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it."
   He frowns for a moment, then says, "Okay."  He then gets up and walks
out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.
   About a half an hour later, he returns all tired and sweaty and
proclaims, "Well I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig's
always squealing, how can I tell?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to see a doctor who is an eye specialist, he walks into see him
carrying this violin case under his arm.
   "What can I do for you?" asks the doctor.
   "I'd like you to take a look at this." the man says. He opens the case to
reveal the biggest smelliest turd the doctor has ever laid eyes on.
   "I did that!", the guy tells the doctor.
   "Right, well, err, shouldn't you be going to see your normal doctor about
that?", asks the doctor, "afterall I am an eye specialist and I don't see how
I can help you with that!", the doctor goes on.
   "No you don't understand", says the man, "Every time I do one of those,
it makes my eyes water!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  This Englishman walks in a salon of a small town somewhere in the wild
west, and orders a drink. Suddenly, a gangster appears, shooting left &
right and screams "all you scum bags, get out of here".
  The bar becomes empty in a second, save the Englishman, who calmly carries
on to finish his drink. The gangster looks in the Englishman's direction;
"Well?" He says.
"Well", the Briton replies, "There were certainly quite a lot of them".