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The following are possible product warnings that might be required
on a package of any and every product, based on the laws of physics.
 
                       * * * * * * * * * *
 
WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
 
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of
85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
 
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically
Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred
Million Miles Per Hour.
 
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is
Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both
Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
 
ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That,
Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May
Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at
Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's
Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages
or Inconvenience That May Result.
 
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested
Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles
Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next
Four Hundred Million Years.
 
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This
Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic
Explosion Will Result.
 
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any
Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the
Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is
Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of
the Universe.
 
NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held
Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known
and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently
Guaranteed.
 
ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found
Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product
Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
 
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May
Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is
TenDimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers
No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to
Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are
"Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.
 
PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the
Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to
Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
 
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons,
Protons,etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every
Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other
Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be
Expressed or Implied.
 
HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product,
Since Its Mass,and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity
Relative to the User.
 
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe,
Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an
Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently
Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be
Guaranteed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   This guy is driving down the road in the country when suddenly BANG!! He
hits something running across the road in his car. He pulls up and sees he's
knocked over a skunk and he sees three little baby skunks run off in to the
bushes, he realizes he has killed the baby skunks parent so he runs after 
them and catches them and puts the on the back seat of the car to take to the
vets to find out what he can do for them. The guy arrives at vets and picks
the three little skunks up and takes them inside. He explains to the vet what
he has done and asks the vet what he should.
   The vet tells him he can do one of two things, he can let them go in to
the wild and cope for themselves or he can take them home and bring them up
himself. The vet explains that if he leaves them to look after themselves in
the wild they will probably die because they are so young. The guy tells the
vet that he doesn't want to do that and that he would rather take them home
and look after them because he feels it's his responsibility. The vets tells
him that he must feed the skunks on warm milk and crushed cookies and that
the most important thing is that the skunks are kept warm. So off the guy
goes with the three skunks and he takes them home and explains to the wife
what happened. She agrees it's the best thing to do.
   "You go in to the kitchen and boil a pan of milk," he says to his wife,
"and I'll crush some cookies out here," he continues.
   She agrees and off she goes.
   He shouts to her in the kitchen, "what I propose is, tonight when we go
to bed, you can get the skunks and to keep them warm they can all sleep
between your legs".
   His wife replies, "that's all very well but what about the smell?".
   The husband replies, "don't worry they'll get used to it, I did!".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.