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There was once a very famous builder of homes. He was noted for never,
EVER, having had a spare part -- not a nail, a two-by-four, a pane of
glass -- left over at the end of a job. His materials ALWAYS came out
exactly perfect.

This builder was recognized while on vacation and offered a million
dollars to build a home. He reasoned that a making a fast million bucks
while on holiday wasn't a half bad deal and agreed.

As usual, everything went according to plan and as the job was completed
he stood in the street admiring his achievement. The buyer approched him
and together they admired the new home.

Suddenly though the builder noticed a brick laying in the front yard.
Startled he began to circle the house looking for the spot where the brick
must have fallen from. But the sides of the home were perfect. The builder
searched everywhere. The basement. The brick walk leading to the front
door. He was forced to accept that, for the first time EVER, hehad
miscalculated. He had one brick left over!

He ran back to the street crying. He was in terrible turmoil as to what to
do with the brick. 

The buyer, becoming increasingly annoyed, shoved a million dollar  check
into the builder's hand and said something to the effect of: "Fuck the
brick. Throw it in the trash. Shove it up your ass. Toss it into the sky.
Just get  the hell out of here."

The builder pondered this for a moment or two and then reached his
decision. And do you know what he did?

Yep, he heaved the brick as hard as he could straight into the air towards
the clouds. And then do you know what happened?

The most amazing thing ... 

Absolutely utterly amazing ...

Nothing! 

The brick stayed somewhere in the sky and everyone went home wondering why
they wasted their time reading such a stupid joke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  Once, there was this woman. She had a white toy poodle that she loved 
with all her life. She took this dog everywhere she went.

  One day she had business one the other side of the country, and she 
had to fly there... so she went to airport and baught a ticket. The 
airline said that they didn't allow dogs on the plane; not knowing what 
to do she sat down and thought about the situation.

  She remembered a little coat store by the airport, and a few seconds 
later she was there buying a full length mink coat... she rearrived at 
the airport and put the dog in her coat and boarded the plane. 

  The no smoking light went on and they were up in the air. The dog, 
though, was starting to get a little restless. THe woman sitting next to 
her noticed the coat starting to move and yap and she leanded over and 
said "Mam, you know you're not allowed to have a dog on the plane." And 
the dog-lover explained the situation and the woman conceeded not to tell 
anyone.
    
  A few minutes later, the woman sitting next to the dogowner lit a  smoke.
The dog-lover started caughing violently and told the smoker that it 
wasn't allowed on the plane. The smoker turned to her and said" If you 
throw your dog out the window, I'll throw my cigrette out." The dogowner 
thought it over, she really hated smoking and it made her ill....so she 
agreed, they threw the dog and smoke out the window.

  About 5 minutes later, they look out the window...do you know what 
they see on the wing of the airplane? They see a white poodle, do you know 
what he has in his mouth?

 A BRICK.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time an old lady and her poodle, Pierre, were on an airplane.
Across the aisle was a gruff, fat man smoking a cigar.

The lady politely asked the gentleman if he would extinguish his cigar
because it was making her poodle cough. To this the man, insulted,
responded by blowing smoke at  Pierre.

Pierre coughed and coughed. The lady begged the man to stop smoking.The
man blew more and more smoke.

The time came when the nice old lady fellt a change of tactics was in
order. She told the man if he didn't stop bolwing smoke at  Pierre she
would throw his cigar out the window. To this the man said "Try it bitch
and Peirre goes out the window too." And he punctuated this by blowing
more smoke at Pierre.

So, true to her threat the nice little lady snatched the man's cigar and
tossed it out the window!

And, true to his threat, that man grabbed Pierre by the neck and flung him
into the sky.

And the lady became hysterical. So hysterical that no one could console
her for the rest of the flight. She cried and she cried. She sobbed and
she sobbed.

Eventually, of course, the  plane landed. The shaken little old lady was
helped off the plane by  the stewardesses. Even the nasty man that had
tossed Pierre out the window helped to assist the poor woman onto the
tarmac.

Suddenly, one of the stewardesses noticed that Pierre was alive! 

He had somehow managed to grab hold of the tail of the plane  with his
paw. 

Everyone turned to witness the sight ...

But even more amazing, to the extent that ANYTHING could possibly be more
unbelievable than a poodle riding for hours on the tail of a 747, was what
Pierre was holding in his mouth!

A cigar you say? 

No, not a chance.

Clasped firmly between little Pierre's jaws was a BRICK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So this guy decides to build a house out of bricks.  Being extremely 
mathmatical, he calculates the number of bricks he will need and buys 
that exact number.  When he was done, he had one brick left over.  So 
he threw it out.