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!!!MAKE HONEY FAST!!! Do you yearn to have thousands, even tens of thousands of workers laboring for you? and (get this!) - No employee retirement plan expenses - No employee labor or union problems - No employee morale or sick leave problems - No employee heath care plan expenses - No EEO problems - No environmental or polution concerns Yes, Yes, YES!... YOU can have it ALL - in the amazing world of ... BEE KEEPING!!! Yes friends, with just minimal effort and a capital investment, you can hold dominion over thousands of worker bees. They will toil endlessly to make honey, perhaps even hundreds or thousands of gallons of honey (isn't that sweet!) And once started, the little critters are self-reproducing, so the colony just gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and production just keeps going up and up! And we use only the most productive worker bees in the world! (sometimes referred to as Killer Bees). There's just almost no downside to this plan, and it's all Perfectly Legal! (*) (tm) Yes! That's what I said, can you believe it? --->THIS IS NOT A PYRAMID SCHEME! <--- This is a hive scheme. And we're here to help you get going with our Deluxe Bee Keeping Starter Kit. Here's what you get: - A certificate of authenticity - The instruction book: "Bee Keeping for Idiots" - Video Tapes: "Killer Bees: Truth or Dare" - facts behind our misunderstood friends "Let Sleeping Bees Lie" - an acclaimed (by us) six-hour Art/Nature film - A box containing approx 10,000 (by weight) very angry Killer Bees and one very tired Queen Killer Bee. - Construction plans for our unique "Bee Condo" (tm) (pat. pending) - A life-size recognition-chart of a Queen Killer Bee (1-inch x 1-inch) - A bee dancing foot chart and music cassette (Flight of the... you know) - A first aid kit containing, Band-Aids (tm), a syringe of bee anti- venom, and a list of poison control centers. And as an added bonus, absolutely free to the first 100 callers... - A Mondo-MAG-Vibrator (nothing to do with the bees, just left over from our last promotion. batteries not included). --------------------------------------------------------------------- All this for only 15 easy payments of $19.95. (Can you believe it?) --------------------------------------------------------------------- So, don't BEE the last one on your block to get started. ORDER NOW: 1-800-QUEEN-B *(Offer void where prohibited by law or common sense. :-) **Money Back Guarantee: We guarantee you won't get your money back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One day, a priest has been in the confessional too long and needs to take a bathroom break. The problem is that the confessional line is too long. In a flash of brilliance, he motions the janitor over and asks the janitor to take over for a few minutes. "But I won't know what to say." exclaims the janitor. "You've been to confession, so you know how it works. Besides there is a list of sins and penances taped inside the booth." Priest leave to relieve himself and janitor hears the first sinner. "Father forgive me, for I have sinned. I gave a man a blow job." The flustered janitor cannot find blow jobs, fellatio, or oral sex on the penance sheet. Janitor motions over alter boy and asks, "What does Father generally give for a blow job?" Alter boy responds, "Usually two Snickers and a Coke." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Man finds out at work that he just won 10 million dollars in the lottery--calls home "Honey, I just won 10 million dollars--start packing" "Why, where're we going?" "Nowhere; just don't be home when I get there" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bumper Sticker: "My child was inmate of the month at the county jail."