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There once was a man.
He was an Evil man,
He Raped.
He Murdered.
He Gambled.

One fine december day, he died.  A great orange pit opened beneath him
and he slid infinitley down, and after an eternity of falling he landed in...
A rather stylish Hotel lobby.
Blinking, the man took in his surroundings.
The Lush red carped ran to the wall high plate windows, where he could
peer out at the Gold lined Pool, the 70ft. roulette table (where everyone
seemed to be winning, etc.

After a few moments a Drop Dead Georgous blonde walks in, wearing next to 
nothing and says
"Good afternoon sir.  Welcome to hell!  My name is Cyndi, and if you need
_Anything_ you just let me know >Suggestive Wink<  You can wait here if
you like, or you can go on up to your room.  The boss will be here in just
a moment to show you around.

Stunned, the man gaped at her.  "I'm in hell!?  This is..."
"Please be patient" Cyndi replied.

Then, with a puff of smoke, Satan, King of Deception, Lord of the Pit,
Beezlebub...you get the idea, appears.  "welcome" says he "to hell.
Please, come with me and see the sights."

This is it, thought the man.  Together they went out into the street.
The boulevard was lined with platinum and diamonds.  Brothels and 
bars, pubs and casinos bordered the streets.  All faces were smiling,
eating, kissing etc...

"well, what do you think?"  Asked the vile horned one.
"Impressive, I must admit.  I do have one question, however..."
Satan gives him an embarrased look.  "Let me guess...you want to know
about the Christians, don't you."
"Why, Yes," said the man   "I was under the impression that, you know,
fire, brimstone and demons with pitchforks...all that..."
"I was hoping you wouldn't ask," Satan said "but they all do.  Come with
me."

With this Satan led the man to a large archway covered with a velvet curtain.
Pulling back the shade, he revealed a chasm filled with every horror known to
man.  The sulphorous pit was lined with souls torn in agony, chained to the
crude boulders.  Most were being whipped with chains or prodded with
pitchforks.Their screams filled the air with sublime and ideal frantic pain...

"I don't understand" says the man.  "Why are they in such pain when everyone
else is having such a good time?"

Satan shruged his orange shoulders and replied "Those are the Christians,
like I told you earlier.  They wouldn't have it any other way."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."  He
bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week."  The
boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the
boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket.

Finally the frog asked, "What is it?  I've told you I'm a beautiful
Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you
want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer.  I don't have time
for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were four men riding in a cab, a Russian, a Cuban, an American, and a 
Mexican. The Cuban was driving.  He pulls out a cigar, took two or three drags 
off of it and threw it out the window.
The other three looked in amazement and asked why he had wasted it. He
said "Not to worry my friends... we have MANY of these in my country."

A little while later, the Russian pulled out a bottle of vodka, drank
three swigs and tossed it out of the window. Again, the others
asked why he had wasted the bottle and he said,
"Not to worry my friends for we have many of these bottles in my country."

Still later the Russian and the Cuban turned to the American and asked "So 
American... what is it in YOUR country that you have to waste?" The American 
looked around quickly, not wanting to be outdone by the two men, and reached 
over and opened the door and kicked out the Mexican.  Then he said,

"Not to worry my friends... we have many of these in my country!"