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UNIQUE PICKUP LINES ===================== I love every bone in your body - especially mine Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? Hi there! I'm interested in having breakfast with you. Can I call you or nudge you? Irish : Have you got a little Irish in you? She: Uh...no.... Irish: Well, do you want some? Say, didn't we go to different schools together? I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me then watch the victim try to hold back her smile..." Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far? I had a friend give a card that on the front: 1 2 3 4 Pick a number and then on the back of the card it read: Sex maniacs always pick 3 You wouldn't believe how many women pick 3. It was a great card. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? Hey baby...infect me! I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good. The front reads: +------------------------------------+ |No Phone No Business| | | | | | | | | | | | No Name | | | | | | | | | | | |No Address No Money| +------------------------------------+ And the back reads: +------------------------------------+ | I'M A SILENT SEDUCER | | | |Any chance to crawl in the sack with| |you tonight? | |If so, just keep the card: If not, | |kindly return it because they are | |expensive. | | | |I'm not as good as I once was. | |But I'm good once as I ever was! | | | |P.S. You don't have to say yes | | Just Smile!| +------------------------------------+ She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time? He: Do you have the energy? Will you marry me and have my children? [unfortunate side-effects: beware!] Bond. James Bond. (Bond, Savings Bond does not work nearly as well.) Excuse me, do you live around here often? Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together? Hey babe -- did you know I'm on the Harvard Mailing List? There's the old classic from the movie Fletch: (to girl in towel): Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. 9 Very Unsuccessful Pick-up Lines: ---------------------------------- 1. "Would you like to see my boa constrictor?" 2. "Is that a false nose?" 3. "You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno." 4. "I'm drunk." 5. "Hi, my friends call me Creepy." 6. "Would you like to come to a party in my tool shed?" 7. "I just threw up." 8. "You're ugly but you intrigue me." 9. "I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Michael! Michael O'Shea! Why haven't I seen you in church for so long?" "Oh father I have sinned so terribly that I dare not show my face in church." "What happened my son?" "Well, with us being so recently married an' all, I tend to think of the wife and the sin of the flesh more than I should and she will wear these short dresses and stockings and nothing else. A few weeks ago she dropped a tin of beans and when she bent over to pick it up I could not resist it I couldn't. I just had to take her then and there." "Well that's no so terrible my son. That's no reason to exclude yourself from the House of God." "That's very kind of you father, because they've banned us for life from the supermarket."