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For those of you who do not fully understand what the Marketing Terminology 
for certain office products means, here is the current 'Product Name
Generator Matrix' as used by many company's marketing departments:

Column 1                Column 2                Column 3
0. integrated           0. management           0. options
1. overall              1. organizational       1. flexibility
2. systematized         2. monitored            2. capability
3. parallel             3. reciprocal           3. mobility
4. functional           4. digital              4. programming
5. responsive           5. logistical           5. concept
6. optimal              6. transitional         6. time-phase
7. synchronized         7. incremental          7. projection
8. compatible           8. third-generation     8. hardware
9. balanced             9. policy               9. contingency

The procedure is simple. You think of a three-digit number at random and take
the corresponding word from each column. Thus, 601 gives 'optimal management
flexibility', 352 gives 'parallel logistical capability', and so on.
Marketing claim that the generator gives its users 'instant expertise on
matters pertaining to Communications Technology', enabling them to invest
anything they write, not with any particular meaning, but with 'that proper
ring of decisive, progressive, knowledgeable authority'.
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An airline steward called Mr. Gay was using a pass flight on an underfilled 
USAir flight.  When he boarded, however, there was someone sitting in the
seat he had been assigned, so he took a seat a couple of rows back.
Another flight was cancelled, so the airline started to move all the
non-full-fare passegers off the plane to make room for those from the
cancelled flight.

A steward went to the seat that had been assigned to Mr. Gay and asked the
young man sitting in it, "Are you Gay?". The young man nodded, and the
steward replied, "I'm afraid you will have to get off the plane".

At this point, Mr. Gay interrupted and said "No wait a minute, you have the
wrong person, _I'm_ Gay".

A young man sitting across the aisle jumped up indignantly and said "Well
I'm gay too, they can't kick us ALL off this flight!".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
just thoguht id put ina joke but i catnt tyupe very well so beer weth nme.



Q: hwuihe huehuiefhuwefy sodu hsupguhr huher?
A: iufhf hueihg huidhv aouhg njengjknofj mg ojg doijfg!!!!

whaty a gdferyt koke eh????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, did you hear about the yuppie redneck?
He had a pickup with a wine rack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do you have when you place Dan Qualle, Ollie North, and Dolly
   Parton in a rowboat?
A: Two boobs and a country-and-western singer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How do you protect a valuable musical instrument?
A: Hide it in an accordion case.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How many librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: "I don't know but I'd be happy to look it up for you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 24 1/8, but that's down 3/8 from yesterday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How many "Martha Stewart"s does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. She drills a hole in the side and makes a perfect hummingbird house.