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|__ __| | April 17, 2008
| | | |__ ___ Thursday
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|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-6171
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The Same Language
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One reason the Military has trouble operating __|_\_
jointly is that they don't speak the same =u__.-.__)
language. /_/
_h___ I
__[_]___\_[]=_ __
\, / _[__]===
jgs^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^^''''"" (______) __
_[__]===
For example... (______)
If you told Navy personnel to "secure a
building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with
suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease
with an option to buy.
view this joke online -or- SEND it to your friends NOW
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Are you ready?
T O D A Y 'S C A R T O O N S F O L L O W
(just click on the VIEW links below)
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Viagra
VIEW
Alternate uses.
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Do you promise to tell the truth?
VIEW
The whole truth?
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Died a virgin?
VIEW
Now that's a sin!
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GOD CREATED THE FIRST TEACHER
On the 6th day, God created men and women.
On the 7th day, he rested.
Not so much to recuperate,
but rather to prepare himself for the work he
was going to do on the next day.
For it was on that day-the 8th day-that God
created the FIRST TEACHER.
This TEACHER, though taken from among men and
women, had several significant modifications.
In general, God made the TEACHER more
durable than other men and women.
The TEACHER was made to arise at a very early
hour and to go to bed no earlier than 11:30 p.m.
- with no rest in between.
The TEACHER had to be able to withstand being
locked up in an air-tight classroom for six hours
with thirty-five "monsters" on a rainy Monday.
And the TEACHER had to be fit to correct 103
term papers over Easter vacation.
Yes, God made the TEACHER tough...but gentle
too. The TEACHER was equipped with soft hands
to wipe away the tears of the neglected and
lonely student...of those of the sixteen year
old girl who was not asked to the prom.
And into the TEACHER God poured a generous
amount of patience:
Patience when a student asks to repeat the
directions the TEACHER has
just repeated for someone else.
Patience when the kids forget their lunch
money for the fourth day in a row.
Patience when one-third of the class fails the
test.
Patience when the text books haven't arrived
yet, and the semester starts tomorrow.
And God gave the TEACHER a heart slightly
bigger than the average human heart.
For the TEACHER's heart had to be big enough
to love the kid who screams, "I hate this class
-it's boring!"
and to love the kid who runs out of the
classroom at the end of the
period without so much as a "goodbye",let
alone a "thank you".
And lastly, God gave the TEACHER an abundant
supply of HOPE.
For God knew that the TEACHER would always be
hoping.
Hoping that the kids would someday learn how
to spell...
hoping not to have lunchroom duty...
hoping that Friday would come...
hoping for a free day....
hoping for deliverance.
When God finished creating the TEACHER, he
stepped back and admired the work of his hands.
And God saw that the TEACHER was good. Very
Good!
And God smiled, for when he looked at the
TEACHER, he saw into the future.
He knew that the future is in the hands of the
TEACHERS.
And because God loves Teachers so much, on the
9th day God created
"Snow Days." :-)
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John Nunley - jokemaster@funnybone.com ( `. .' )
`. ` /'
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