Funny Jokes - Funny Stories - Funny Cartoons
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|__ __| | January 3, 2003
| | | |__ ___ Friday
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| 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
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|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-618X
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T O D A Y 'S C A R T O O N S
What a time for your glasses to fog up!
VIEW
Being a door to door salesmen isn't easy... but sometimes it's fun.
VIEW
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Ever wish that you could super charge your orgasm?
VIEW
(this gives a whole new meaning to "blower")
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/ _ \
Rodney Dangerfield One Liners... /`| | `\ |\
/\o/ \_o/ |;\
__ _ .-"""-. \;;\
A girl phoned me \ `-'/ ;-._.-' , |;;;\
the other day and '--. |_ \ \ _.--'| |;;;;)
said, "Come on over, | '. \ \ `-._/ /===;/..-"-.
there's nobody home." \ '. /`._ __ ___/___(( _ \
I went over. Nobody was \ Y ``-\_/==;===='"`/``---'
home. \ \ \\ \ /`
\___/ |\ \ /`
If it weren't for | | \ ;
pickpockets I'd have / / | |
no sex life at all. jgs / \ | |
.' \_/ |
And we were poor too.
Why if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with.
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other
night she called me from a hotel.
One day as I came home early from work. I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said,
"Because you came home early."
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a
button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster
and a radio.
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as
a friend.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his
wallet.
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to
my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could but he pulled
through."
My mother had morning sickness.....after I was born.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my
finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find
my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He
said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.
I went to see my doctor and said, "Doctor, every morning when I get
up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up; What's wrong
with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
view this joke online -or- SEND it to your friends NOW
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jgs -----'``"-,__(__) * '.____\ ~*
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John Nunley - jokemaster@funnybone.com ( `. .' )
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ASCII Art by Joan Stark | |
http://www.ascii-art.com/ | |
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Copyright (c) 2000 The Funny Bone - All Rights Reserved. ( , )
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ASCII Art Copyright (c) 1996-02 - Joan G. Stark
please read guidelines for redistribution of ASCII art
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/please.htm
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