Funny Jokes - Funny Stories - Funny Cartoons
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|__ __| | April 22, 2008
| | | |__ ___ Tuesday
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|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-618X
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How to Tell if Your Viagra is Working
- At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at
a meeting, the table floats.
- Your face is very pale due to lack of blood.
- When you walk into a sauna, everyone stands and applauds. They
begin to call you "the tripod."
- You begin to think your mother in law is pretty.
- Sunbathing nude outside standing: Birds perch on it.
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- Sunbathing nude outside lying down: You look like a sundial.
- Everyone at the bank, grocery, etc... lets you go to the front of
the line...
- Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar.
- You always lose limbo contests.
- Lewinsky wants you to be president someday.
- You can make drawings in the sand without having to find a stick.
- You like to sleep on your back, so you had to remove the ceiling
fan.
view this joke online -or- SEND it to your friends NOW
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T O D A Y 'S C A R T O O N S F O L L O W
(just click on the VIEW links below)
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Have you seen the new VW Bug?
VIEW
It's a real eye catcher!
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Do you enjoy tattoos?
VIEW
Here's a full body tattoo you might enjoy looking at.
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Behind in your e-mail?
VIEW
This might help.
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(view the best of last week's cartoons)
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The Old Piano Player
A bar had a sign in the window advertising that they needed
a piano player.
A scroungy-looking, old, retired Navy musician entered the
bar and told the bartender he was interested in the job. The
bartender wasn't too impressed with his looks but said, "What
the hell," and pointed the old sailor to the piano in the
corner.
The old musician sat down and started to play the most
beautiful, melodious piece of music the people in the bar had
ever heard. All talk stopped during the song, and when he
stopped, they all applauded. "Hey, man, you're good," said the
barkeep. "What was that?"
I call it, "Drop Them Panties, Woman, It's Gonna Be A Long
Night."
"Interesting title," said the bartender. "Got another?"
The old sailor broke into a foot stompin' honky-tonk piece that
brought the bar patrons to their feet, clapping along until it
was finished, when they again gave him a thunderous round of
applause.
"You are great, man. Really great. What do you call that one?"
asked the bartender.
"That's a little ditty I call, 'I Wanna Spank Yer Bare Butt,
Baby, 'Til You Scream and Holler.' "
The old sailor then turned around on the bench and said, "If
you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom."
While he was gone, the bartender decided to offer him the job,
starting immediately. When the old musician returned a few
moments later, the bartender said, "If you want the job, it's
yours." He looked down and noticed the old sailor hadn't
"quite" finished his trip to the restroom.
"By the way," he asked him, "do you know your pecker is
hanging out for all the world to see?"
"Know it? Hell, I wrote it!"
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John Nunley - jokemaster@funnybone.com ( `. .' )
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