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|__ __| | May 7, 2008
| | | |__ ___ Wednesday
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| 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
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|(,_| |___/ ISSN: 1527-6163
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| \_, T H E S U N D A Y F U N N I E S
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| | M I D W E E K E D I T I O N
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Did You ever Notice.....
____ ...that the husbands of the ten best-
_ .-;\)___\ dressed women are never on the
|_| \_/ ,---\ list of the ten best-dressed men?
| | / _/ e e
\_/ _%&&%%&_ |(` >| ...that health clubs advertising on
___T__\______/__ \| =/ TV never show people who look like
'====\\\ ^/====='_/ ,--' they need to be there?
`\ \ .'`._ (
\ \ / ``\ ...that the older you get, the better
\ \/ / ) ) an athlete you used to be?
\`'._/ -'.-'\
\__/ / \-'\______ ...that the phone will not
/._'-./ \ ___`'-. ring for the first 15
/` | '-.\ '--`` /-\\\ minutes of the day, unless
/` / | ( ) | you are late; if you're
/ / | \ (-- late, it will ring contin-
/ '-._ | /'-.'# uously until you arrive?
`._ `'-._/ /#__#__#
;";-..__ | | # # ...that a boring person is
; | |``-' |# # never hoarse?
/ ;\ | |__#__
.' / / / || | ...that the waitress who
jgs /' .' | | || | hovered over your table
/ .' | | || | before you were ready to
,| / \ | || | order is nowhere to be
\\\/( (`-/\__ || found when you're ready
\__`\ [_--.__\ for the check?
view this joke online -or- SEND it to your friends NOW
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Haz-Mat Removal... A dangerous job!
VIEW
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The Wild Kid Calms Down
_,.---,_ As a crowded airliner is about to take off,
,-" '. the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy
/ \ who picks that moment to throw a wild temper
| , | tantrum. No matter what his frustrated,
| / '-..____.; embarrassed mother did to try to calm him
\_ | /a/a( down, the boy continued to scream furiously
(` _) and kick the seats around him.
`\ ,__. /
`;-.___.' Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an
_.| | elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force
.' `-._\-. General is seen slowly walking forward up
jgs / `\ the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother
/ | with an upraised hand, the white-haired,
courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his
chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and
quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into
spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the
cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Pardon me, General," she asks
quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that
little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my
pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained
that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on
any flight I choose."
view this joke online -or- SEND it to your friends NOW
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A new "tricle down" economics
VIEW
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N E E D M O R E C A R T O O N S ?
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John Nunley - jokemaster@funnybone.com ( `. .' )
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ASCII Art by Joan Stark | |
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Copyright (c) 2008 The Funny Bone - All Rights Reserved. ( , )
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ASCII Art Copyright (c) 1996-08 - Joan G. Stark
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